The next day in Bangkok, our last full one, started the usual way with the hotel’s breakfast buffet. Fueled up, it was time to hit the streets. Passing through the hustling line of tuk tuk drivers we slipped inconspicuously into the bazaar that is the Bangkok streets. We soon started sampling some of the delectables offered by the vendors. Guys are never full, right? The skewered chicken was really tasty, the sinewy mystery meat less so. We continued to browse the merchandise and sample food until we reached the fried banana cart. It was time to sit down and enjoy this. Here we noticed that aside from the occasional cigarette butt, there was no litter in sight.
Before long it was time to return to the tailor shop to find out what awaited. Steve met a guy at the hotel desk who was very outgoing and offered to drive us. Tom was quite a find. He had access to the company Camry. Air conditioning!
Tom was also quite a talkative guy. He said he’d lived in LA for several years. He explained the tuk tuk system to us. According to his account, the tailor shop owned the tuk tuk as part of their marketing plan. Tuk tuks, it seems, exist to literally drive business to the merchant’s door.
The system worked well for us. Steve wanted a suit and I certainly could update my shirt supplies. My new shirts were ready for pick up after the final fitting. Steve’s suit will follow him home. He also ordered 5 silk shirts. A fine, tailor made wool suit and 5 silk shirts for a little over $400. Pretty nice deal.
Tom and Steve later  went out and prowled downtown a little in the evening. I exercised the old man’s prerogative and went to bed.
Another breakfast at the hotel, check out and a ride with Tom and we were at the airport. On the way Tom patiently taught us how to say “Suvarnabhumi,” the name of the airport.
After a short flight on a huge aircraft (B-777) we slid into Phuket. Pictures cannot do it justice. White sandy beaches stand between the azure Andaman Sea and lush green mountains. The air approached hot, but still comfortable despite the high humidity. The towns we passed through were crowded with buildings pressing onto the streets. The hour trip from the airport was between 4 and 5 pm. The streets were full of young people in school uniforms, walking, riding scooters and packed into vans. The whole feel was one of a peaceful frenzy as scooters leap frogged past, only to be over taken until the next traffic stop where the cycle repeated itself.
We climbed the road to Kamala, and then to Patong in the crush of traffic that

moved unimpeded through the lush hills. Occasionally a break in the foliage revealed the stunning vista of sand and sea that draws millions here from around the world.
Coming into Patong, we found a densely packed world of shops and restaurants catering to the teeming masses filling the streets from around the world. Our driver was as surprised as we were to find our lodging. As we carried our stuff to the “resort” we were greeted by phalanxes of very friendly young women clustered in front of shops offering massages.

Before we managed to reach the entrance of resort, we were confronted face to face by two of these charming hostesses who brought new meaning to aggressive sales tactics.
Again enjoying the perks of age, I happily greeted them and moved on to the registration desk. The resort is off the street, but completely open to it. Across from the registration desk a beautiful “L” shaped pool laps invitingly in the shade of the surrounding buildings and an amazing tree that is rooted in the wall rising from one side of the pool. The thick roots crawl down to the edge where they are manicured just clear of the water. Needless to say the entire pool area demanded closer inspection.
Once we cooled off, we ventured out into the streets in search of street vendor food. It wasn’t hard, and we stopped by a Turkish barbecue to get some delicious creations that resembled Middle Eastern burritos. Bang-la Road is the major strip that thrives by catering to the lower parts of the soul.

Food and other delicacies line the road as signs and souls reach out grab for attention. The ever present choirs of massage ladies chanted their “sawadeeca” greetings as we passed by. Before long we adjusted to the sales culture that is ever ready to pounce at the slightest hint of eye contact. It is aggressive but not intimidating. I enjoyed telling one of the girls, “not tonight, I have a headache.” She got it.
Boldness tempered by the laid back Thai manner blunts the edge of the sales pressure.
A few meat skewers and a banana-and-vanilla crepe later we were at the beach taking in the end of the day’s light. It was stunning.
Cutting our way through the walls of human flesh, we made it back to the resort. The streets teemed, and the massage choruses were in full throat. Evidently the turf around here is very well defined.

Although the resort entrance opened directly into their perches, the ladies refrained from entering. After another dip in the pool it was bedtime. The sawadeeca choir sang its lullaby long into the night.
Breakfast Included
Next morning we set out again to retrace our steps in daylight. Less pressured by the fallen angels, we browsed a few vendors adding unneeded but still welcome calories to the very nice breakfast included in the resort’s fees.
Drawn to the water by some turtle-instinct, we found home for the next few hours. What a spot! The near powder sand and gorgeous water gave us no choice. The saline concentration is such that you can float effortlessly as relaxed as you are able. It was warm and gentle, and immediately conjured the notion of climbing back into the womb.
After exchanging war stories with an fellow from the north of England, along with a couple of dips, it was time to return. By the time we reached the resort, the pool called our names. A siesta and another dip later, we struck out again in search of food. It wasn’t hard, we resolved to eat at one of the nicer open air seafood restaurants along the beach.
After ruling out $75 for the 2 lb. lobster, Steve decided to join me in trying the calamari. The building looked like it was built with tsunamis in mind. Completely open, it consisted of a roof supported by steel columns. It was lit and furnished perfectly. The service was phenomenal. Before dinner arrived, two young ladies of the service staff asked Steve to pose for a photo. Unfortunately, we couldn’t get them to understand our request for a copy.
The dinner was perfect. With plenty of beverages it all worked out to less than $55 for both of us. While we were eating we surveyed the complex in which the restaurant was set. It was magnetic, and after dinner we strolled through a first class hotel-condo complex complete with a pool coursing around and through the several towers.
Emerging onto the street we realized our error.
The lady vultures staked outside saw us and immediately went for the assumed gold. Again, the dull edge of Thai high pressure tactics made for playful rebuffs.
Returning to the resort, the pool beckoned. The pool features a bar at the street end. By this hour the choir was in full throat and provided entertaining street theater to which we howled and cackled. One particularly well endowed sales rep strutted and fretted, walking directly into passersby. Despite their best efforts it appeared to be a slow night.
They had taken note of our enjoyment and started calling from the street. Our buxom friend and a compatriot screwed up their courage and mounted a beach assault on our position. We declined their offers and they retreated once again to their lair.
Another beer or so down the road, they made a second landing. Steve referred to the well endowed one as a “Picasso”, meaning the appeal that showed from a distance evaporated on closer inspection. Nonetheless, as we all know, the key to sales success is persistence. Picasso returned promising endless joys charmingly framed in the local English colloquialisms. After declining the menu, she left us in peace.
As she retreated, we began to have doubts.
Something about her suggested she was a modern medical marvel known throughout Asia as a “ladyboy”. All the exposed pieces seemed to fit. Of course this provided endless amusement for the rest of the evening.